It's just shy of 3 months since we lost Gabriella. I would have just hit week 27.
This has been the hardest time in either of our lives. I am not sure what either of us would have done if we didn't have each other or God. I want to say it's easier today than it was 2 months ago but it is not. I just learned to cry when no one else is around and try to put on a brave face.
Don't get me wrong I am happy. Especially on a day like today, the day that my Savior gave his life for me. But it is hard to be ok. If I did what I felt like doing I would never leave the house. Just stay in my PJs laying in bed zoning out on TV and eating ice cream. Fortunately the world keeps spinning and I must get up and choice to spin with it.
I can get up and make our home and our finances more suitable for a child. I can work on saving money. I can keep my house in tip top shape. I can cook healthy meals for my husband and hope that it helps us become healthier people.
I know we will be blessed with a child, hopefully lots of them (I want at least 6) Though as the days go by I'm not sure it will be with out adoption.
God is good, all the time. Even in the times we feel alone. Even in the times when we are left with our whole world shatteredm, He is good.
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