Saturday, August 15, 2009

Okay, I lied!

I lied, it makes me angry, sad, jealous and all sorts of other emotions.

I want children, lots of them! Growing up must kids wanted to be policeman, fireman, the president. I wanted to be a mom (and a missionary) I get so frustrated that God would allow or give me such a strong desire for something but than deny it. I have no doubt Dan would make an amazing father. It sickens me that I'm secretly jealous of pregnant women.

I don't understand why if there are kids that need a home, even if temporarily we can't provide that for them. Granted I know I have very little patience. I would have been content in waiting to try to have kids til well now. But we were given a wonderful surprise of a baby girl and it awoke in my hubby and I so strong feelings. Without her here, I feel like I'm slowly dying on the end side.

I don't know if we can make it 3 years without the pitter-patter of little feet.



All that being said, I don't believe I will be working with children for awhile. It's too hard.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

I love you, more than words can say. I know that God will not take you where His grace will not protect you.